Buffy: On School...
"There are some things I can just smell. It's like a 6th sense."
"Well, actually, that would be one of the five." -- Principal Snyder and Giles
"Have you ever done an exchange program?"
"My dad tried to sell me to some Armenians once. Does that count?" -- Buffy and Xander
"It's a baby. You got to keep it safe and teach it Christian values."
"My egg is Jewish."
"Then teach it that dreidel song." -- Xander and Willow
"Just sitting here watching our barren lives pass us by. Oh, look, a cockroach." *stomp* -- Willow
"You just don't like him 'cause of that time he beat you up every day for five years."
"Yeah, I'm irrational that way." -- Willow and Xander
"Well, I sort of test well, you know, which is cool. Except that it leads to jobs." -- Oz!
"You're here again? You kids really dig the library, don't you?"
"We're literary."
"To read makes our speaking English good." -- Miss Calendar, Buffy and Xander
"Willow said something, a name... What was it?"
"A bozo! Not a bozo."
"A bezoar."
"That's it. Okay, so now... we look it up?"
"In what?"
"A book?" -- Xander and Buffy
"But it's not doable. I mean, making someone from scraps, actually making them live."
"If it is, my science project is definitely coming in second this year." -- Buffy and Willow
"Well, evil just compounds evil, doesn't it? First, I'm sentenced to a computer tutorial on Saturday. Now I have to read some computer book. There are books on computers? Isn't the point of computers to replace books?" -- Cordelia
"Speak English, not whatever they speak in, um..."
"England?" -- Buffy and Giles
"You know, computers are on the way out. I think paper's gonna make a big comeback."
"And the abacus."
"Yeah, you know, you don't see enough abaci." -- Xander and Willow
"I have had it up to here with you four. What are you doing?"
"Nothing"
"Did I ask you to speak? .... Okay, I guess I did." -- Principal Flutie and Kyle
"On the other hand, Sheila has never burned down a school building."
"Well, that was never proven. The fire marshal said it could have been mice."
"Mice."
"Mice that were smoking?" -- Principal Snyder and Buffy
"Do I like shrubs?"
"That's between you and your god."
"What'd you put?"
"I came down on the side of the shrubs."
"Go shrubs, okay." -- Buffy, Xander and Willow
"You wouldn't be helping Buffy in Sheila's place, would you?"
"No, we're hindering." -- Principal Snyder and Willow
"I don't think anyone should have to do anything educational in school if they don't want to." -- Cordelia
"You know what this means?"
"That Fondren might actually beat Sunnydale in the cross-town body-count competition this year?" -- Buffy and Xander
"Does this look familiar to either of you?"
"Yeah, sure. It looks like a book."
"I knew that one." -- Giles, Buffy and Xander
"There are no dead students here. This week." -- Principal Snyder
"Mitch wanted me to get his comb. He likes his comb."
"I don't think Mitch needs his comb right now. I think Mitch needs medical attention." -- Buffy and Principal Snyder
"See, this is a school, and we have students, and they check out books, and then they learn things."
"I was beginning to suspect that was a myth." -- Buffy and Giles
"How is it you always know this stuff? You always know what's going on. I never know what's going on."
"You weren't here from midnight until six researching it."
"No, I was sleeping." -- Willow and Giles
"It's funny how the earth never opens up and swallows you when you want it to." -- Xander
"Whatever is causing the Joan Collins 'tude, deal with it. Embrace the pain, spank your inner moppet, whatever, but get over it." -- Cordelia
"Let me be sure I have this right - this witch is casting horrible and disfiguring spells... so that she can become a *cheerleader*?" -- Giles
"Gym was cancelled due to the extreme dead guy in the locker." -- Cordelia
"I mean, the dead rose. We should have at least had an assembly." -- Xander