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"Ivanova is always right. I will listen to Ivanova. I will not ignore Ivanova's recommendations. Ivanova is God. And, if this ever happens again, Ivanova will personally rip your lungs out! Babylon control out... Civilians." [Looks at ceiling.] "Just kidding about that God part. No offense." -- Ivonova

"I'd like to live just long enough to be there when they cut off your head and stick it on a pike, as a warning to the next ten generations that some favors come with too high a price. I want to look up into your lifeless eyes and wave, like this. Can you and your associates arrange that for me, Mr. Morden?" -- Vir

"Why is it everytime you finally get things calmed down and everything's going great life decides to kick you in the butt?"
"But what?"
"What?"
"You said that 'life decides to kick you, but'."
"No. It's um... It's a... It's a part of the body. It's um... Oh, you have the damndest gaps in your vocabulary."
"In preparing to come here, I was not taught, um, the more... colorful aspects of your language. It was considered inappropriate for one of the religious caste."
"You're missing out on a whole lot."
"So I gather. Butt... Butt. I butt. You butt. He or she butts."
"No... It's um..."
"Butt, butt, butt, butt."
"You sound like a motorboat."
"Motor butt? I do not think I like the sound of that."
"Well, I don't blame you. I'm against the whole idea."
"Then we are in agreement."
"Absofragginlutely." -- Sheridan and Delenn

"Maybe somebody actually read my report for a change."
"Don't hold your breath." -- Sheridan and Garibaldi

"Well, as answers go, short, to the point, utterly useless, and totally consistent with what I've come to expect from a Vorlon."
"Good." -- Sheridan and Kosh

"Good, I hate being cheered up. It's depressing."
"In that case, we're all going to die horrible, painful, lingering deaths."
"Thank you, I feel so much better now." -- Sheridan and Ivonova

"And what kind of head of Security would I be if I let people like me know things that I'm not supposed to know? I mean, I know what I know because I have to know it. And if I don't have to know it, I don't tell me, and I don't let anyone else me either. Now look, you've tried most of the other Ambassadors, why don't you speak with G'Kar, maybe he knows something about this ship."
"Under the terms of our recent treaty, I'm not authorized to have any official conversation with the Narn, without Centauri approval."
"So you'll ask unofficially. And I can give you reasonable assurances that the head of Security will not report you for doing so."
"Because you won't tell yourself about it?"
"I try never to get involved in my own life, too much trouble." -- Garibaldi and Mr. Endawi

"I heard a joke today. I probably should not repeat it, but who are you going to tell, hmm? How many Centauri does it take to, um, screw in a light bulb? Just one... but, in the great old days of the Republic, hundreds of servants would change a thousand lightbulbs at our slightest whim." -- Londo

"With all due respect, that was grade-A stupid. I mean, what if the guy would have gone for it? I mean, what if he would have just blown your brains all over the place? What if he... What's that?"
"Energy cap. I palmed it when I shoved the gun in his pocket."
"You are going to give me an ulcer."
"Okay, okay, next time I'll give him a live gun. You really do want that promotion, don't you?" -- Ivonova and Sheridan

"Aw, nuts."
"What's wrong? I mean, we survived."
"Right. Which means now I have to go back to that stupid Transport Association meeing." -- Sheridan and Ivonova

"If I live through this job without completely losing my mind, it will be a miracle of Biblical proportions."
"Well, there goes my faith in the Almighty." -- Ivonova and Lt. Corwin

"Tell them we'll re-convene in seven hours. If that thing blows, at least it'll save me from one more annoying conversation." -- Sheridan

"Always finding the good in every situation, eh Captain?"
"Absolutely. If I didn't, I might end up like you."
"Hey, what's that supposed to mean? Did anybody else hear that? Did you hear that?"
"No, Commander."
"Good. I swear, if we live through this, somebody's going to find their automatic shower preferences re-programmed for ice water." -- Ivonova, Sheridan, and Corwin

"Women like a guy who looks trim, neat. You gotta be sharp. I look like I'm wearing a circus tent. Any minute now, a little teeny car with sixteen clowns in it is gonna come flying out of my butt." -- Zack

"Good afternoon, everyone. Captain. Delenn tells me that you going to try contacting the First Ones. It is a magnificent idea. A daring and splendid idea. In doing so, you will see things no human has ever seen before. It will be... fun. Assuming you're not vaporized, dissected, or otherwise killed in an assortment of supremely horrible and painful ways. Exciting, isn't it?" -- Draal

"At least they've shown us they understand our language, they're just not willing to speak to us in it."
"Who knew they were French?" -- Ivonova and Marcus

"It's leaving. My guess is 'zog' means no."
"Like hell. I am not letting them leave without saying 'yes'."
"Really? And how do you propose stopping them? Perhaps a big red and white sign with the word 'stop' on it? I'll put a bucket on my head and pretend to be the ancient Vorlon god Boojie."
"That's it!"
"Fine, I'll get a bucket." -- Marcus and Ivonova

"Security? Hello, is anyone there?"
"Warning: Bio-genetic id comparison indicates you are not authorized for operation of this link. Please turn it in to Security."
"I'm trying to contact Security, you stupid machine!" -- Marcus and B5's computer

"... sometimes I even sing."
"I know, we got a petition."
"For or against?"
"Based on the sound, they think we're torturing you in here." -- G'Kar and Garibaldi

"And they have much to be concerned about. There's always the threat of an attack by say... a giant space dragon, the kind that eats the sun once every thirty days. It's a nussiance, but what can you expect from reptiles? Did I mention that my nose is on fire and that I have fifteen wild badgers living in my trousers? I'm sorry, would you prefer ferrets?" -- Marcus

"Vir, intelligence has nothing to do with politics!" -- Londo