One Line Signatures from the Internet
* Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear.
* Daddy, why doesn't this magnet pick up this floppy disk?
* Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
* I.R.S.: We've got what it takes to take what you've got!
* We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.
* Pentiums melt in your PC, not in your hand.
* Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake!
* The secret of the universe is @*&^^^ NO CARRIER
* Did anyone see my lost carrier?
* Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.
* I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing!
* He who laughs last thinks slowest!
* Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
* "More hay, Trigger?" "No thanks, Roy, I'm stuffed!"
* A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.
* Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
* Error, no keyboard - press F1 to continue.
* There's too much blood in my caffeine system.
* Artificial Intelligence usually beats real stupidity.
* I wouldn't be caught dead with a necrophiliac.
* Learn from your parents' mistakes - use birth control!
* Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now.
* Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.
* I won't rise to the occaasion, but I'll slide over to it.
* Ever notice how fast Windows runs? Neither did I.
* Double your drive space - delete Windows!
* What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?
* Assassins do it from behind.
* If ignorance is bliss, you must be orgasmic.
* "Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes."
* Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy.
* Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.
* Oops. My brain just hit a bad sector.
* I used to have a handle on life, then it broke.
* Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out alive.
* I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.
* The sex was so good that even the neighbors had a cigarette.
* Better to understand a little than to misunderstand a lot.
* The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
* When there's a will, I want to be in it.
* Okay, who put a "stop payment" on my reality check?
* Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.
* I'm as confused as a baby in a topless bar.
* We have enough youth, how about a fountain of SMART?
* All generalizations are false, including this one.
* Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
* C program run. C program crash. C programmer quit.
* "Criminal Lawyer" is a redundancy.